Saturday, July 9, 2011

Baggin' On the Country Music Show

    Y’all aren’t going to believe this, but I went to a school board meeting on Tuesday.  I swore I’d never attend another boring event again in my life and a school board meeting is the definition of boring.  But, there I was missing the first part of the CMA’s.
 Rob donated the money for a new playground at the Whitmore School in Leigh’s honor.  I was there for the presentation and that’s the only thing that would get me to go. 
When I could sneak out, I came home to the Award show in progress.  Willie was singing a Paul Simon song about being crazy, and then Paul sang a Willie song about being crazy.  Loved it! 
Then.  They gave the best song award.  Now didn’t Whisky Lullaby win the best song last year?  I’m almost sure it did.  I remember a double-suicide-by-bottle recording won.  There aren’t TWO of those songs, are there?  I personally like “As Good As I Once Was.” And “Alcohol” (that helps white people dance.)  I didn’t hear a thing about “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off”
An aside; when the family was all together last week, we heard that tequila song and I said, “There’s your song, Barb.”  She said, “I thought it was Your song.”  Martie said, “I thought it was MY song!”  Whitney said, “Actually, I believe it’s my song.”
 Like mothers: like daughters

Here comes some of my genteel, compassionate, benevolent musings, bless their hearts:

Kris Kristofferson looked like he’d been pulled through a sick cow backwards.

Who dressed Martina McBride?  And who did her hair?

How did Lee Ann Womack get best album!?  She’s only made one good recording in her whole life! (I Hope You Dance) and her voice is WIMPY.

George Strait is a big black hat with a nose and a mouth under it.  Ditto on the one good song. (You’ll Always Be a Fire I Caint Put Out) yes caint.

Kenny Chesney is a weenie.

Dolly Parton looks like a caricature of herself.  I especially liked her sock monkey mouth.  I DID covet her jeans, though.  I’ll bet Elton John wanted her whole outfit.

Shania Twain’s dress with that tight band around the vicinity of her knees made her walk like a two-year-old who has her panties down around her ankles as she rushes to the potty.

But of course, who am I to criticize?

Good stuff:
Keith Urban!
No wonder my niece stalks him!

Alan Jackson—still sexy after all these years.  I see he wore his lucky jeans. (They must be because I know he can afford some newer ones.)
Alison Krause did a great job with her bluegrass, and she didn’t talk!

Who is that girl who sings in Sugarland!  Great voice.  Time to dump her back up group.  Did you notice that Pat from SNL was playing the guitar?  Plus, do you think something is going on with her and Jon Bon Jovi? Whew!

Vince Gill is still cute.  I love a man with substance!

Faith and Tim -- Great!  Their new CD is all good.  Thanks, Duane!  Did anyone else notice how much better and more confident Faith got when her hubby joined her?

Brooks and Dunn.  Again.  Can’t beat ‘em.

All in all it was a great show, however the best song of the evening didn’t even get a mention.  It was the Fruit-of-the-Loom commercial, “You Can’t Over Love Your Underwear.”

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