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Lynn’s Review of the CMA Awards

Reba.  Well, she had on a purty dress.

Brad Paisley opened with his trite and simplistic song “The World.”  The tune is boring and the main words have been floating around on the Internet forever in those flowery-send-this-to 25-of-your-best-friends things.

“Oh, no,” I thought.
But things improved after that.

A new girl, Miranda Lambert, sang a song about her guitar.  She had a guy in her band with a Mohawk!  I felt Tammy Wynette spinning in her grave over that!

Brad Paisley’s “Time Well Wasted” won album of the year, with the great song, “Alcohol” on it.  It “helps white people dance.”
See?  He can do good songs if he wants.

Toby Keith should get an award for, “The Best Cowboy Hat Ever.”  I have liked him since he went toe to toe with Peter Jennings.  His band had cellos and violas in it, which I liked, but I’m sure I felt Hank Williams rolling in his grave over that!  Furthermore, if Hank weren’t already dead, he would have croaked over Dirks Bentley and his cute little face and his curly hair, along with the next guy, Jason Aldean, and his earrings.

Big and Rich brought down the house with their, “ Eighth of November.”  It was stunningly heart wrenching.  I like them and their usually wacky, off the wall style.  This was a new side of them.

Jennifer Nettles IS Sugarland and she needs to use her name, and drop that “Sugarland” business.  Have you seen her sing “Who says You Can’t Go Home” with Jon Bon Jovi?  That girl has got it going!  Anyway, SHE won the award for best new DUO!!  Who is that other guy, anyway?

Carrie Underwood, or as she is known in my home state, “Our sweet little Carrie,” wearing a princess dress, sang the winner of the best single award, “Jesus Take the Wheel.”  I don’t know how that song won over the seriously strong competition, but it did.
Carrie also was the winner of the best new female vocalist, bless her heart.

Some quick musings;

“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.”  Trace really knows how to upset one’s spell checker, doesn’t he?

Did I hear correctly?  The politically “Un”correct, Gretchen Wilson, chews tobacco? 

Little Big Town was the only group who earned the word “BUY” in my notes this year.  Great harmony in their song, “Boondocks.”

I loved it when Vince Gill (Happy Cheeks) gave his humanitarian award to the little girl who was there courtesy of the Make A Wish Foundation.

I did NOT like it when Reba made her Dixie Chick “joke.”
Singing with their foot in their mouth, indeed.

Rascal Flats won the best group prize.  They sang a song with Kelly Clarkson.  (Geez, why do I always think of Steve Carell when I hear her name now?)  Their song was wonderful but it certainly wasn’t a country song.

The tribute to Buck Owens was good.  His son looks just like him!  I have thought about Buck and “Hee Haw” since we moved to Whitmore.  I always want to tell people my phone number is BR549, because our whole township has the same prefix and people only have to give the last four numbers.  Anyway, Dwight Yoakam, Blink 182, a guy from ZZ Top, and Brad Paisley played Buck, and I feel pretty sure I felt him spin in his grave over the drummer.

Kenny Chesney?  Entertainer of the year?  I think not. 
Keith Urban, yes.  I am always impressed by people who can play the piano and sing at the same time.
Brooks and Dunn? Yes, they had me at Neon Moon.
Toby Keith and Rascal Flats? Yes and Yes.
But, Kenny?  Nah He’s a weenie beach boy.